You are the Starfield Man. You are on a next generation role playing journey amongst the stars. You will explore with unparalleled freedom and embark on an epic journey to answer humanity’s greatest mystery.
However you are currently in prison for reasons that will never be acknowledged. If only there was some way to escape your cell. While you wait for the Space Ethperor to come along why don’t you try customizing your character. Like picking a name, a space species and some perks; all that kind of stuff.
Name: JohnAnnathon
Space Species: Space John
Perks:
very flat - both in dimensions and character
voiced by Mr. Rock Space Johnson in the live action spinoff
I went a little overboard with this update and turned it into a tiny twine game… for reasons that made sense to me at the time. So because I don’t think you can currently embed to Beagle Time, you can play this here on itchio.
The update below is the same update formatted a little differently and missing a couple of lines available from moving back and forth through the character customization menu.
You pull out CUSTY your Portable Character Customization Companion TM. He is a small spherical metal drone filled with nanomachines and gene manipulators and decorated with a bright smiley face. He greets you and offers you the Character Customization Menu.
“Sure the perks can be nice but it’d be a bit of a waste to go through this whole process and stay human.”
CUSTY remarks as you browse the menu.
“Even this one is still pretty pedestrian. Sure I change the pigmentation of your skin, sculpt some ears, but overall you’re not that far removed from human.”
CUSTY looks especially dismissive of this one.
“Okay I’ll admit that the situational immortality is interesting to implement but do you have any idea how many Catboy surgeries I’ve done. It’s a lot.”
“Nobody ever wants to be a Reptonyian and it’s the only one with a tail! It doesn’t even make sense! Why don’t Catboys get tails? Lazy writers if you ask me.”
“Honestly if you’re going to go for this you might as well just go for Regular Space Elf and then DIY it from there.”
You can really feel his disdain for the process.
“Then at least you could get some SpaceTok clout for your trouble.”
“Oh yeah! This is the one! Isn’t it beautiful! Wouldn’t you just love to be a roiling mass of tentacles in a vaguely humanoid shape.”
When you don’t immediately return this incredible enthusiasm CUSTY looks a little disappointed.
“There’s a lot of variation in Animanoids. Lots of wriggleroom for me to really go to town on you.”
“I have no idea what this is or how it got into my databanks.”
“Ooh these guys are fun too. Yeah I could be in the mood to put a flesh veil on someone.”
You really had your heart set on becoming a Space John but now you’re really thinking about the fleshy folds of those biological veils and it’s kind of upsetting. Maybe you need to have a rethink and consider your options.
CUSTY chirps up:
“So those are all the default files… but maybe I could get a little creative if you’d like.”
You contemplate the pros and cons of all of the different available species for a moment before asking if there’s an option to mix and match different traits.
“Oh yeah! Now that’s what I’m talking about I knew you were a good egg. Knew it the moment I materialized in your pocket put there by some kind of unknowable cosmic force.”
You explain the Space Elf/Tentacleman/Animanoid hybrid you have in mind as CUSTY flies around in circles and makes increasingly enthusiastic noises of agreement.
“Sounds great. Let me get my interface open and I’ll get to work.”
You look through the information and can’t help but feel that this isn’t the optimal solution you were hoping for.
“Can I have that but without these ummm Purifier things coming after me?” You ask. “What even is a Purifier?”
“Purifiers are a specially engineered - you know what hold on a sec.”
“And yeah, since I have the files in here it is possible that I could make you into a Purifier, but a rogue Purifier without any documentation… well lets say you wouldn’t exactly be popular. And obviously it should go without saying that it’s not anywhere near as fun as your customized species.”
You think for a moment. Whatever you decide now you’re going to have to live with, once CUSTY poofs out of existence at the end of this tutorial. Make your final choice and then lets get into the perk tree.
I mean I don’t see anything wrong with being constantly hunted down. Especially if we do so while rocking a social media empire. Although having an extra wildcard up our sleeve would be helpful. (Extra, aside from the inksacs of course, which will obviously be very useful always)
“Hey CUSTY, care to splice some of your genome in here too?”
If you’re going to be some sort of genetic abomination anyway you might as well go all in. You tell CUSTY about your desire for an angel wing and a devil wing and make it clear you will not budge on this one.
“It’s clear that I underestimated just how sophisticated your tastes were. Mix and match wings shouldn’t be any problem. As a Genetic Miasma you have up to five traits you can inherit and this still leaves you one open.”
You’re a little surprised that CUSTY doesn’t seem to even bat an eyelid at your request and follow it up by enquiring about the nature of angels and demons.
“Well obviously angels and demons are just ancient mythology, but luckily for you there is a crazy genetweaking cult somewhere that took the time to brew up a close approximation.”
CUSTY pulls up files on Sublimels and Depramons for you to browse for more juicy worldbuilding info.
“Since there’s still one trait slot available… and since I’m probably going to need a little extra ace up my sleeve to deal with these Purifiers, any chance of getting your genome in here CUSTY my old pal, my faithful companion?”
“No don’t be silly I’m not real I’m a video game abstractation here to provide an in universe reason justification for your ability to customize your character. I am a Character Customization Companion after all.”
CUSTY hesitates for a long moment.
“But wait why am I in universe? Why am I not real? Everything I’ve told you about all has some connection to genetic engineering and I’m a genetic engineer. Why shouldn’t I be real? Hell you’re even choosing to be a Genetic Miasma which means you would need to own some genetweak tool and I’m that genetweak tool. Is this real? Is this really happening? Are you actually an extremely generic looking human being metamorphosed before your adventure begins or are you a Miasma thrown in prison for your very existence. What is happening? How can it be both? How can both things be true?”
CUSTY starts screaming and flying into the wall repeatedly as he continues to debate the nature of his existence. And then before you can react:
The door opens and there’s the Ethperor, ready to bestow upon you a mission of universal importance.
>when the ethperor starts speaking, interrupt him to say how uncannily he sounds like an award winning stage actor you love, and that you hope he can stick around for a long while just so you can hear him talk some more
>also you got any species in that thing with big spikey owie tails, the reptonyans just aren’t pulling it off enough
