The Mist Noble
A fish blob man who is only armed with a flute. I would absolutely destroy the Mist Noble.
The Folding Screen Monkeys (maybe)
I’m pretty sure if all 4 of them swarmed me they could rip me apart but if we’re talkin’ 4 consecutive monkeys I could beat them, so long as they don’t run away.
Micolash (a real stretch)
I think if I took Micolash by surprise I could maybe dropkick him into a pit. The minute he’d cotton on to me he’d raise his arms in the air and shoot 50 laser beams in a 30 meter radius, killing me instantly. It is theoretically possible for me to beat Micolash in a fist fight but the odds are not in my favour.
That’s it. Every other From Software boss is either a wizard, an insanely jacked knight, a hell monster or a giant robot.
I’m not sure I could beat any in a fistfight exactly but I refuse to consider that given some kind of distance weapon I would be unable to beat the Moonlight Butterfly.
Is it possible that some of the hell monsters do not have fists and therefore would be disqualified from fighting back?
Moonlight Butterfly is pretty wispy, I imagine you could do some damage if you got into fist range. However it does shoot magic lasers. I’m kinda operating on the assumption that any magic would absolutely kill a real human from our Earth real quick.
You could disqualify the hell monsters on a lack of fists but I wouldn’t class that as a ‘win’. The scenario I’m picturing in my head is less of a sanctioned boxing match and more just a fight to the death* and all you have are your fists, are you coming out on top? Ebreitas, Daughter of the Cosmos** is not going to not fight you on the account of a lack of fists.
Also when I say You I mean capital Y You from the real world, not a version of you in the From Software game that could theoretically put levels into stats.
I considered maybe being able to beat Pinwheel, he’s kinda of got a similar thing going on as Micolash in that if you rushed him down maybe you could just overwhelm him before he knew what was going on. But Pinwheel can clone himself and shoot fireballs the size of boulders. Nobody’s surviving that.
*I’ll say that ‘beat in a fist fight’ doesn’t necessary mean to the death but I’d assume any From Software boss would not hesitate to murder you.
**No one can beat Ebreitas in a fist fight by the way. One slam of that big ol’ cueball head and you are toast.
Is it possible, that perhaps all the enemies in From Software games are in fact…very tiny?
Like, I’ve seen close up pictures of an ant before, and that thing is an Eldritch horror, but I also know the way we got that picture is because some nerdy grad student picked it up with a pair of tweezers before covering it in gold dust and placing it gingerly in an machine that bombards it with electrons. I can take an ant.
What if the From Software avatar you control is just a little guy? A Thumbelina. And I know what you’re going to say : “but the game environment clearly has large celestial bodies and atmosphere that couldn’t be possible on a little planet” But, I will point out: magic.
Look I haven’t played From Software games, because I fear truly challenging myself (it is also why I don’t have an incredible Binding of Issac playthrough) but I have played Katamari Damacy and I know the scale of the King of Cosmos’ kids.
An intriguing theory! I’ll give you that if all the From Software games take place in tiny world you could beat the vast majority in a fist fight.
There’s a couple of very large enemies in the Armored Core that when extracted from tiny world would be quite regular size in our world. The Ice Worm would be probably be the size of a regular snake. Could you beat a regular sized robot snake in a fist fight? Bearing in mind it has a variety of lasers and missiles and its face is a drill.
I don’t think I could win a fist fight against a regular snake nevermind laser snake.
I maintain I could win a fistfight against a regular sized butterfly.
So looking at a picture of the Ice Worm, the thing that bothers me the most is the metal plating.
Like I’ve been pinched by these guys before:
Imagining one of these but its metal and with murderous intent…The act of constricting is combined with a slicing action. I’d stay the heck away from that thing, drill face regardless.
But the question isn’t would fighting it be a painful experience, but could you beat it in a fist fight…I think…no probably not. I might be able to survive an encounter but I would for sure need to go to the hospital. I can’t out-punch metal, I’m too low on the Mohs hardness scale.
How smart are these tiny world bosses? For instance, when faced with a larger opponent, do they know to go for the eyes? I could fight a normal dumb wasp, but once that thing starts dodge rolling and stabbing my weak points I know I would be in trouble.
Bob could win a fight against a normal dumb wasp.
Bob would lose the fight against a normal dumb wasp.
0
voters
Okay now run one for you and the butterfly.
Ix could definitely win a fight against a normal sized Moonlight Butterfly
0
voters
Welp. That checks out. Although I’d contend that any laser directed at your retina is going to throw you off your game.
A rigged election? In MY video game thread??? Democracy Dies In Darkness™
Some more food for thought for tiny From Soft bosses: Would the status effects also be tiny or would they be standard size? There are some status effects in these games that just kill you instantly. It’s all well and good fighting a crane fly sized Lichdragon Fortissax but if it hits you enough with its tiny static shock-esque death bolts you will have gigantic thorns exploding out of your body.
I assume that magic is still magic. So whatever effect would still apply. Same for biological effects like didn’t bloodborne involve some disease or curse? I would count contracting a fatal illness as a loss, even if the original tiny boss was fully pummeled. Kind of like a beesting vs bee allergy scenario.
Also Lichdragon Fortissax sounds like it could be a scientific name for a bug species.